Wild Card

It was my turn to clean up. Everyone was so tense with the International stand-off and all, so I was mopping under the launch control panel while the others were on break. The special key was already inserted next to red switches, and I thought, “Oh hell, why not.”

by-Doug Mathewson

Senior Momentum

So deal with my undergarments and pull up my pants.
Tuck in my shirt tails and do the button.
Fiddle with my belt and I’m done.
That’s enough, I’ve lost interest.
The zipper can be for another day.

by Doug Mathewson

Flu Season

Used to be only Doctors gave out flu shots.
Then couple of years back pharmacies joined in.
How seems you can go most anyplace to be inoculated.
A waitress gave my wife hers while she and the kids waited for pizza.
I got mine at the car wash. The girl who gave me the shot looked
like she knew about needles, in a spoon and candle kind of way.

by Doug Mathewson

The Slugger

He was a private person.
He liked to whistle, and told strange jokes.
Quiet by nature, he was painfully shy.
Just worked hard and kept to himself
People said that he looked like
baseball great “Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio”.
Poor dad was so embarrassed
when The Slugger married Marilyn Monroe.

Isaac’s Undies

You said your mom was really letting herself go, and had put on a lot of weight. With sneer of distain you added she was now wearing “foundation garments”.
I thought of Asimov and didn’t see what was so bad.

by-Doug Mathewson

Economy of Scale

My watch stuttered for a week and it didn’t seem like a battery.
The watch repair man said it was solar, just leave it on the car dash for a day. “No charge”, he said. To return the favor I bought a pair of antique cuff-links from him. They are Roman lion heads in gold. Now I need to buy a shirt with French cuffs. Something in blue with a small stripe I think.
It would have been cheaper to buy a watch

by-Doug Mathewson